Medora, September 9 — In a move experts are calling 'startling' and 'of dubious legality', Luxury Universal [e]Xperience is taking data security further than any other competitor!
After analyzing network activity over the last several months, LUX has identified several threats to user data security, both digital and physical. Some of these threats have been mitigated through updates to LUX's security standards, but that isn't enough for LUX! There is no mountain high enough, no valley low enough, and no action extreme enough to stop LUX from doing everything within its power to protect sensitive user information!
To this end, LUX is proud to announce that action is being taken to put an end to the remaining security threats! Utilizing the B.I.G.B.R.O.T.H.E.R. system and recruitment of several new security operatives, those responsible for the latest security breach will be held accountable!
It just goes to show that at LUX, not only is Your Data Our Business, but The Security of Your Data that Is Our Business, Is Our Business!