✦             WELCOME TO LUXURY UNIVERSAL [E]XPERIENCE             ✦             WELCOME TO LUXURY UNIVERSAL [E]XPERIENCE             ✦             WELCOME TO LUXURY UNIVERSAL [E]XPERIENCE             ✦             WELCOME TO LUXURY UNIVERSAL [E]XPERIENCE             ✦             27-10-5-22-5 1-22-5 31-17-25 24-17-4-4 24-17-4-4 20-14-5-1-23-5 3-17-15-5 2-1-3-13 24-10-1-16-13 31-17-25             ✦             110% MORE FUN THAN A REGAL CINEMA!             ✦             THIS PRODUCT MAY CONTAIN NUTS**             ✦             PLEASE REPLY WHEN PLEASE REPLY WHEN PLEASE REPLY WHEN PLEASE REPLY WHEN PLEASE REPLY WHEN             ✦             YOUR DATA IS OUR BUSINESS!             ✦             CONNECTION TO PSUITE FAILED; RETRYING...             ✦             YOUR FUN IS OUR FUTURE!             ✦             **THIS PRODUCT MAY ALSO CONTAIN BOLTS            

Luxury Universal [e]Xperience Unveils PSuite, The Office Productivity System of the Past, of the Future!

Medora, August 21 — Luxury Universal [e]Xperience is happy to announce the announcement of the reveal of the distraction that is the PontiSuite Office Productivity System!

As the modern office grows more and more technologically dependent, it is increasingly important to keep all levels of management, production, and customer service integrated into a seamless, unified working environment. Patrons demand only the highest quality of service, and with the PontiSuite Office Productivity System, any business can stay ahead of the curve: bell, logarithmic, exponential, or otherwise.

But what is the PontiSuite Office Productivity System? It is a uniquely specialized cluster of apps and programs designed to make your workflow easier and better, with such programs as:

Scribe - A Text Editor and Word Processor with over 26 different letters!

PReelplayer - Why settle for complex video control schemas when all you need is the ability to play? Loops automatically for maximum efficiency!

PCylinder - Sometimes you need to listen to audio files, but you don't know what you should set the volume to. Why not let PCylinder detect the optimal volume levels for you and save your precious time?

PSheet - A top-of-the-line data management tool and spreadsheet editor.

PMail - When you have a message to send, you should shout it from the heavens! This next-generation email system saves you time and energy by automatically applying the most relevant signatures and replying to everyone it detects should receive your message!

PChat - Keep your workplace connected with a feature-lite chat system, including the automated responses and alerts provided by the friendly A1 the Spreadsheet Cell!

PCal - Using LUX's proprietary calendar PontiTime (scientifically proven to be 110% More FUN than the Gregorian Calendar), PCal not only keeps your appointments and meetings in order, but with the integration of the Business Operating and Scheduling System is capable of automating all your management and scheduling needs! Kick middle management to the curb, and meet your new BOSS!

PSettings - Customize your PSuite experience! Choose from over 3 options!

PConnect - Keep your office at peak connectivity through the easy to use Network Setup Sorcerer!

and PFun, when you need a quick break from being productive, you can turn to the recreational functions of Psuite!

SpoilerSweeper - Avoid Spoilers by making sure they are Tagged!

Checkers - The Game Of Kings, with A1 the Spreadsheet Cell as your opponent!

Russian Roulette - Do you feel lucky? Well? Do you? Patron?